Do I Curse Too Much?

Like I fucking care, but... I'm just curious.

Template Madness

[UPDATE -- TURNS OUT IT WAS THAT STUPID FUCKING EMAIL FROM BUSH THAT WAS FUCKING THE ENTIRE SITE UP TO ALL HELL... THAT FUCKING FIGURES]

For some reason, the goddamned "About Me" section (and all that other shit that goes with/underneath it) on here keeps showing up on the fucking *bottom* of the page. And that was *BEFORE* I added the "Impeach Bush" banner code, which, I should note, mysteriously appears/disappears - seemingly at will.... but that could be an issue w/ their bandwidth... although it shows up on all the other sites that I've seen it on... aarrrrrrrrgh.

I even changed templates back and forth a few times, which always scrubs any/all customizations made to one's templates and, in theory, totally reset anything that I might've bungled in the coding by adding the banner... and made everything hunky-dory again.

But it's not hunky-dory... or even moderately hunky-acceptable.

This is becoming irritating.

Anyone have any idea wtf is going on?

Post-Holiday Matching Game!

Hope everyone's getting ready for a nice little drunken New Year's celebration, since I probably won't and will be forced to live vicariously through your upcoming tales of alcoholic overindulgence, police chases, and bail bondsmen. Feel free to email me at mtuffli AT hotmail DOT com with your idiotic entertaining stories.

Okay, so A "caption this picture" post over at Desi's miaculpa blog left me with the distinct impression that the First Lady is trying to look like... well... someone unlike herself. Maybe it's just the wind in her hair, but considering the embarrassing fruitcake she's married to... hell -- at this point I'm not putting a makeover/facelift/disguise past her. I've taken the liberty to amass a small set of strikingly similar images which may or may not be the First Lady; much like FOX News, I'll report (blog, in this case) and let you decide (stare blankly or actually try to guess who's who, in this case).

First, here are the 7 "contestants"... :

(A) Bozo the Clown; (B) Don King; (C) Laura Bush; (D) Bride of Frankenstein; (E) Mr. HeatMiser; (F) Cybill Shepherd; (G) Troll Doll.

Now for the pics:

___

___

___

___

___

___

___

* * * *

See if you can match the names to the photos! Don't be discouraged if you're stuck and can't tell the difference between Laura Bush and the troll thingy that you whirl around in your palms to make its hair fly out -- it's a common error.

* * * *

Answers will be posted (if ever) when I feel like it.

Yawohl, Comrade

Yeah yeah, so I mixed some German with some Russian. Shh; quiet, you.

The point is that Ohio -- home of the worst Governor in the USA, Bob Taft -- has a creepy little bill just waiting to be signed by the state's Felon in Chief, and it's one of those pieces of legislation that's about as close to establishing a fascist state as you can get without actually *naming* it as such. From the article:

...

The Ohio Patriot Act has made it to the Taft's desk, and with the stroke of a pen, it would most likely become the toughest terrorism bill in the country. The lengthy piece of legislation would let police arrest people in public places who will not give their names, address and birth dates, even if they are not doing anything wrong.

...

Oh, joy.

I've Been Tagged - Arrr, Mateys

Some evil 'net critter decided that a game of web tag would be entertaining!

Ok - count me in.

Like Desi, The Angel of Blogging that tagged me, I'm going to copy what the last people did so I don't have to try to be clever and come up with 7 new... er... heading thingies.

On to the substance:

Seven Things To Do Before I Die

1. Help destroy corporations' illegitimately obtained 'personhood' and put them back in their place as subordinates to human beings
2. Swim with dolphins
3. Figure out women
4. See a Populist like Bernie Sanders get elected President of the United States
5. Give standup comedy a whirl... while simultaneously attending law school
6. Raise a baby squirrel and turn it into a housepet
7. Become Ghandi-like (but w/o the whole assassination ending, eh)

Seven Things I Cannot Do

1. Yell at my sister when she watches FOX News
2. Remember all those great jokes that'd come in handy during a standup routine
3. Remove my contact lenses with my tongue
4. Polka
5. Back down from any challenge that threatens my manhood
6. Eat broccoli/cauliflower
7. Hold the same job for more than 3 years

Seven Things That Attract Me To... Blogging

1. The chicks
2. Typing is kinda spiffy
3. One day, I shall write something ~kewl~ enough such that CNN's Abbi Tatton refers to my post on the air
4. My inherent inability to STFU
5. It's not controlled by some jackass editor or sponsor, so I can be icky and mean
6. Makes for a nice diversion when I'm supposed to be working
7. No need to be as poignant, rational, or coherent as I'd have to be in a legal brief

Seven Things I Say Most Often

1. "Fuck"
2. "Hmm."
3. "Meh."
4. "WTF?"
5. "Yep."
6. "*shrug*"
7. "Um."

Seven Books That I Love

1. Cosmos, by Carl Sagan.. actually anything by Carl Sagan
2. Confessions Of An Economic Hitman, by John Perkins
3. Defying Corporations, Defining Democracy: A Book of History and Strategy, edited by Dean Ritz
4. How To Lie With Statistics, by Darrell Huff (with classic illustrations by Irving Geis)
5. Anything written by Dr. Oliver Sacks
6. The Five People You Meet in Heaven, by Mitch Albom
7. Without Feathers, by Woody Allen

Seven Movies That I Watch Over And Over Again

1. Spies Like Us
2. The Shawshank Redemption
3. Invincible
4. Team America: World Police
5. Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy
6. The Princess Bride
7. Heat

Seven People That I Want To Join In Too

1. Leftist Grandpa
2. Serratia
3. John at CrooksandLiars
4. SarUH ...lol
5. George W. Bush
6. Cripes. I honestly can't think of anyone else with a blog. *=(*
7. meh

... ok then =)

Smut.

There's a nice blog entry over at Huffingtonpost.com describing how Little Ralphie Reed's spokesperson, Lisa Baron, likes to write naughty stuff. Oh, the irony.

So anyhow, I thought I'd take this opportunity to proclaim my love of/for smut.



Oh yeah... you go, girls.

What The Mother Fucking Fuck?

So the New York Times *FUCKING SAT* on the Bush/NSA domestic espionage story for *OVER A FUCKING YEAR* because - ostensibly - we couldn't let the terrorists know that their phones may have been tapped? What? I wasn't aware that the terrorists were mentally retarded and lacked any common sense; I thought they were supposed to be clever folk.

Uh huh. Okay then.

Wasn't there, uhhhhhh, some voting, or something like that, that may have been affected by the timely release of this information?... wtf was that called again... OH YEAH, THE 2004 PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION.

Oh gee, thanks for keeping that information under wraps, NY Times.

I'll Get Some Goddamned Pics Up... Someday

The Florida/Alabama gulf was nice, but it was either overcast or rainy on all but one day.

*shrug*

At least I missed out on the snowfall and sub-zero Wisconsin temperatures.

Oooh! I golfed. I was bad. And I saw "King Kong" on opening nite.

...

Now I'm at work again and life is back in the sucky, predictable trench where it belongs.

p.s. Bush is still a criminal; vacation changed nothing

One Week In Florida

I'm going to the Gulf Coast for a week! Yay for the elimination of winter pastiness.

I *was* gonna mobile blog, but the cockfaces at Sprint didn't get my Treo 650 here in time... and I'm *not* fucking going to pay $40 + some exorbitant "initiation" fee to get my 600 up and running again for a month. So - I say to all 10 of you that visit here - don't be surprised if I don't post next until the 18th or 19th. Unless, of course, the Sprint cockfaces got the thing to my doorstep tonight while I've been at work... but no one called me to let me know that I got a package, so... eh.

Did I mention that the people at Sprint were cockfaces?

No? Oh, wait... I did.

... cock ...faces

Ohio: First State To Outlaw Democracy?

From a truthout.org article, penned by Bob Fitrakis & Harvey Wasserman, named "With New Legislation, Ohio Republicans Plan Holiday Burial for American Democracy":

A law that will make democracy all but moot in Ohio is about to pass the state legislature and to be signed by its Republican governor. Despite massive corruption scandals besieging the Ohio GOP, any hope that the Democratic party could win this most crucial swing state in future presidential elections, or carry its pivotal US Senate seat in 2006, are about to end.

House Bill 3 has already passed the Ohio House of Representatives and is about to be approved by the Republican-dominated Senate, probably before the holiday recess. Republicans dominate the Ohio legislature thanks to a heavily gerrymandered crazy quilt of rigged districts, and to a moribund Ohio Democratic party. The GOP-drafted HB3 is designed to all but obliterate any possible future Democratic revival. Opposition from the Ohio Democratic Party, where it exists at all, is diffuse and ineffectual.

HB3's most publicized provision will require positive identification before casting a vote. But it also opens voter registration activists to partisan prosecution, exempts electronic voting machines from public scrutiny, quintuples the cost of citizen-requested statewide recounts and makes it illegal to challenge a presidential vote count or, indeed, any federal election result in Ohio. When added to the recently passed HB1, which allows campaign financing to be dominated by the wealthy and by corporations, and along with a Rovian wish list of GOP attacks on the ballot box, democracy in Ohio could be all but over.

...

See now - Republicans are *so* patriotic that they want to ensure that no one can *ever* take one of their elected seats, even if We the People don't want them there.

Now THAT'S patriotic!

*=\*

may you rot in your own hell that i don't believe in, neoconservative asshats

Judith Miller: Whored Herself Out To More Than Just "The Media?"

The word over at E&P.com is that Vanity Fair reporter Seth Mnookin - in an upcoming article - has some inside dirt on Judy, Judy, Judy.

Elsewhere, Mnookin pulls no punches in stating that over the years Miller "had built a reputation for sleeping with her sources," had dated one of Sulzberger's best friends, Steve Ratner, "and had even, for a time, shared a vacation home with Sulzberger," whatever that means.

Adorable.

I wonder how many cocks she had to suck to get that Pulitzer? Hm. =|

How grand. Remember, kiddies: A free press is no longer the critical cog (speaking truth to power) in a democratic society - now it's just another arm of the entertainment industry. Whee!

So Now Iran Looks Like The *Big Winner*... In... Iraq.

I caught a bit of General Wesley Clark's interview on the Ed Schultz Show... seems that, according to officials "in the know" (those are the ones that analyze data, rather than spin it, FYI), Iran(!) has the best shot at controlling the region, the way things are going now. Oh, joy!

No text, so I give you a podcast linky to the .mp3 clip

This is why you don't lie your way into wars, kiddies. Especially the intractable wars that your own father wouldn't tackle. Oh, and that nearly every military scholar noted as the second-worst idea in the history of warfare... right up there with fighting a land battle in Asia.



Hmm.

Testing...

I'm getting a 404 error; wtf?